vertigorp:

random mix of sentence starts pt. ii

• ^{❝   you okay ?  you just nearly walked into a pole.   ❞}
  

• ❝   DOG !  i see a DOG !!!!   ❞

• ❝   rain, rain, please die.   ❞

• ❝   this is my tenth cup of coffee. i think i’m going to die. oh, i’m so going to die. shit. fuck.   ❞

• ❝   did you say something ?  sorry, i’m trained to tune you out these days.   ❞

• ❝   ow. why did you pinch me ?   ❞

• ❝   yes, yeah, totally cool. not freakin’ out. all good !   ❞
  

• ❝   … i thought going through the door would be a bad idea so i climbed up the side and through the window.   ❞

• ❝   i don’t think it’s a good thing that you’re bleeding that much.   ❞

• ❝   i hope you break a leg. literally. i’m not kidding.   ❞

• ❝   could be worse ??   ❞

• ❝   I SPOTTED A NIP SLIP.   ❞

• ❝   did you just … never mind. not gonna ask.   ❞

• ❝   my ass got scratched by a cat. safe to say, i don’t get along with cats anymore. they’re like the spawns of satan. or like satan himself.   ❞

• ❝   I AM SICK AND TIRED OF … not being able to sleep in. like, that’s the best part of life. sleeping in.   ❞

• ❝   when was the last time i slept ?  haha …. hah ……. good question.   ❞

• ❝   please punch me.   ❞

• ❝   wait, no, that was sarcasm, please —   ❞

• ❝   oh … that was a pinch of salt, not sugar. my bad.   ❞

• ❝   I. FUCKING. HATE. STEPPING. ON. LEGOS.   ❞

• ❝   whiskey and misery, my best friends !   ❞