“Look what you made me did!”
“I said war, not four!”
“Would you like some chicken muffins?”
“Alcohol makes everything better. Drink up.”
“Cats are often good judges of character and mine hates you. What’s that tell you?”
“There is no such thing as too much coffee.”
“If I can’t taste the diabetes, my coffee isn’t sweet enough.”
“If God intended for us to eat a vegan diet, why the hell did he make animals so tasty?”
“You’re going to strangle me? Let me get your step stool first.”
“Uno, Yahtzee, Sorry, Monopoly all have something in common. A marriage has ended over a round of each game that went wrong.”
“That’s no kitty, that’s a demon.”
“The spider’s holding me hostage again!”
“If someone breaks in tonight, it’s been nice knowing you.”
“Your coffee is as dark as your sense of humor.”
“I’m not drunk enough to deal with your bullshit right now.”
Random Sentence Starters
Published
themusechronicles 