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The Letter
“Did I get mail?”
- “I got my Hogwarts letter!!”
- “Magic isn’t real, idiot.”
- “I’m a what?”
- “Guess where I’m going on September first!”
- “Did you get yours yet?”
- “Is that an owl?”
Diagon Alley
- “Oh no! My owl!”
- “Hey, can I borrow a knut?” / “You can borrow DEEZ KNUTS.”
- “That book tried to BITE me!”
- “Look at this book–Hexes for the Novice Prankster.”
- “I just saw someone trying to snort Floo powder.”
“Do these robes make my butt look big?”
- “The Apothecary smells like rotten milk.”
- “What cauldron did you get?”
- “School shopping has never been so much fun.”
- “Maybe we can sneak into the Leaky Cauldron.”
- “I want that broom SO bad.”
- “Why would you want a cat?”
- “The wand chooses the asshole, I guess.”
- “Ollivander is kind of a creep.”
The Hogwarts Express
- “We’re going to miss the train!”
- “Can you tell me where Platform Nine and Three Quarters is?”
- “This trunk is SO heavy!”
- “Why are you already wearing your robes?”
- “I just ate six cauldron cakes. Someone give me a medal.”
- “Are we there yet?”
- “You can’t sit with us.”
- “Oh–damn. Sorry, I thought this compartment was empty.”
- “Is it okay if I sit with you? Everywhere else is full.”
“Are you a prefect?”
- “Ha ha! You got a booger-flavored jelly bean?”
- “I’ll trade you my chocolate frog card!”
- “I lost my toad.”
- “I’m scared about the sorting…”
Life At Hogwarts
- “I swear, Filch keeps trying to get me into trouble.”
- “This is the fifth time I’ve seen that staircase move!”
- “If Peeves wasn’t a ghost, I’d fight him.”
- “Oh hey, my owl brought me a letter!”
- “Do you think Shrek lives in the Forbidden Forest?”
- “Let’s just pretend I didn’t blow up my cauldron.”
- “Muggleborns are going to take over the world.”
- “There’s something weird about that professor.”
- “…do people really get detention in the Forbidden Forest?”
- “Meet me in the Common room/library/Great Hall later!”
- “I don’t know how I keep getting points deducted from my House.”
- “Why do you still use quills? There are pens.”
- “I dare you to go swimming in the lake.”
Quidditch
- “GET THE SNITCH!”
- “Your team sucks.”
- “That should’ve been a foul!”
- “Wow, look at them go.”
- “Don’t fall off the broom!”
- “That captain is so hot.”
- “Why is Quidditch a legal sport?”
- “I wish I made the team.”
- “See you on the field.”
- “Look out for that Bludger!”
- “We’re celebrating with Butterbeer tonight.”
- “I can’t believe we lost again…”
Exams
- “I’ll never be able to learn this spell in time…”
- “What are the twelve uses of dragon blood again?”
- “Can you show me the wand movement again? Please?”
- “Just let me peek at your notes for five minutes.”
- “I couldn’t even do well at regular school, now I’m at wizard school…”
- “Is there really no way to cheat?”
- “If I don’t get an O on my Charms OWL, I’m going to scream.” / “I’ll be happy to get an A on any of my OWLS.”