not-close-to-straight:

startrekkingaroundasgard:

unpajarogordo:

so since steve has big bobbies would they bounce during sex?? and would thor call them “pecs” or would he be even more lewd and call them tits

@not-close-to-straight I feel like this is something Clint would bring up in the group chat in not dating commission 😂

Oh good god.

**********************

From Clint: Hey so we’ve been talking about Cap’s butt lately but let me offer a new topic

From Sam: Natasha, tell your man he thinks about Cap’s anatomy too much

From Natasha: I’ll do no such thing. What’s on your mind, husband?

From Clint: We should talk about them Pectorals of Patriotism. I mean have you seen him? He’s bigger than Nat!

From Natasha: Can confirm, I’d have to get implants to match that

From Sam: Yeah, you know, we were running the other day and the man just boings around. He needs a sports bra. They make them in 48 FF right?

From Natasha: Does the FF stand for size Fucking Freedom

From Sam: You’re damn right it does.

From Clint: Okay but here’s my question. The Hammer Man is all old fashioned and calls Steve “beloved” and all that. So do you think he calls those FF Pectorals boobies?

From Sam: He call them tiddies

From Natasha: Breasts

From Tony: I’m going to go ahead and jump in– Chesticles.

From Clint: Please don’t call them chesticles

From Natasha: No no, I like chesticles. Kind of balances out the ones on the bottom right? Chesticles and testicles?

From Sam: I’m on board for chesticles. 

From Clint: Yeah alright, Chesticles. 

From Tony: I’m going to listen at their door tonight and see if Thor says ‘oh Steven your mighty chesticles will be my end’ 

From Bucky: You absolutely will not do that Tony, and also STOP TALKING ABOUT MY BEST FRIENDS TITS

From Clint: you call the chesticles tits?

From Sam: oh man he calls the chesticles tits

From Natasha: Bucky, do you like Steve’s tits

From Tony: something we should talk about, Bucky baby? 

From Bruce: I need new friends this is the worst group text ever.