when-it-rains-it-snows:

annagetsthefabulousbabes:

sister-forget-me-not:

great-tweets:

I feel SEEN.

In which the spouse and I both realize we’re vindictive southern belles. 

Oh I do this all the time in academia.

“we’ve met” is, as stated, usually acknowledgement of a one-sided grudge. The aggressor isn’t actually very likely to dignify this with a response stronger than the kind of willful amnesia that leaves god and everyone wondering what she’s playing at and what the victim did to deserve it.

“we’re acquainted”, on the other hand, means that these two Southern Ladies know each other for three generations and actively maintain open hostilities along multiple vectors. There is about to be blood shed in this O’Charleys at 2pm on a Sunday. The actual victim of gossip will be whoever did that introduction, because everyone knows that Mary and Louise have hated each other since 1951, and how did that person not know? You fool.

So I didnt have the money to do my laundry at my apartment, so I had to go to my mom’s (which does little for my anxoety given every time I’m here I end up witnessing my sister/attempted murderer’s control through fear and the constant refusal to see anything except her side) and I brought my laptop so I could work on drafts, and when I pulled it out, said sister got an attitude so I just put it up and I’m stuck mobile for at least another two hours so my clothes can all dry and I can go home. I hate that my schedule got all fucked because I was really looking forward to an immediate trnsistion to having Tuesdays and Wednesdays off.

I owe about 11 starters for @whcrcmydcmonshidc and I intend to toss some random open starters and get some replies done. I’m hoping to be home no later than 6:30, but we shall see.

not-close-to-straight:

Vampire Queen (Diana Prince/Valkyrie)

(This is… Halloween-y? Idk I had a thought and I wrote a thing)

The man lay twisted on silent cobblestones, limp against unfeeling rock.

All too loud his cries had risen, ripping through the late night quiet, echoing through empty streets, falling on deaf ears as curtains were drawn and doors were bolted and eyes were turned away.

He should have known better, they will say in the morning when the newspaper boys find him.

He should have known better, they will say when the doctor isn’t called because he already knows what happened and it isn’t worth his time to care.

He should have known better, they will say when he is tossed aside like so much trash, an unmarked grave that is more a gaping hole where one more nameless body is added to the already too high count.

A man should know better than to wander the streets at night, the whores will say with painted lips and rouged cheeks and a smile that speaks of a certain knowing that the men will never have, a type of knowledge that comes from working the street, from knowing who and what lurks in the shadows to pluck a man away, to take his very soul.

“He wasn’t to your liking, my Queen?” She says from the dark, bending to dip her finger in a river of red and drawing it to her mouth to taste, to inhale, to breathe in what had once held so much life.

“He tasted bitter.” Her Queen answers, and she is terrible and ancient, her voice a whisper to the one she loves and a scream to those whose eavesdrop, a beauty too rich for the Underworld and too vibrant for man, speaking in low tones of secrets and millennia and a hunger that is never quelled.

“He was a politician, a crooked judge.” The other counters, each consonant a death sentence as if his choice in career had marked him as deserving for this fate.

“Ah.” The Queen smiles, sharp edges and sharper fangs curling over her lips, a sure sign of death reflected in her silvered eyes. “Then of course he was bitter.”

“We shall find you something sweet?” She offers then, and it is her own body that she gives over, as desperate tonight for her Queens teeth in her neck as she had been that first night and every night after.

“My love, you tempt me.” The Queen answers. “But it is still before dawn and the hunt calls me.”

“You know they call you their Saint.” She murmurs, “The women of the street do. You strike down those that hurt them, that are too rough, that take what they want . They call you a saint, an angel.”

“I am neither.”

“You are so much more.”

When they kiss it is more gentle than anyone would ever know, a touch of lips, a barest breath, a sweet touch as if the other is too fragile, to precious, as if the night wind that winds through their hair could tear them apart, as if too sudden a moment would break their unbeating hearts.

“You don’t regret it?” Her Queen asks, just as she has every other night. “You don’t regret being mine.”

“I could never.” She whispers and this time the kiss is full of teeth and tongue, fangs and growls, greedy breaths and grasping claws and when Her Queen pushes her into the dark, against a wall, she goes willingly, bares her neck willingly, never closes her eyes because she will never tire of the way her Queen gasps with the first taste of blood, of the way the silvered eyes melt scarlet with desire, with the way her Queen tears at her clothes until they are bare beneath the moon and the night bears witness to their passion.

And then, as they lie together and pant into each other’s mouths, as the shadows themselves rearrange to cloak them from sight, as the city lies quiet and waiting, holding its breath until the Queen speaks again—

—it is then and only then, soft and sweet and yearning, “My darling Valkyrie, how did I ever think I lived without you in my arms?”

“Diana, my Queen.” The name is reverent, a whisper, a privilege, a prayer. “Come hunt with me.”

***************

***************

Another man lies on the docks, pale and still and empty, the fog surrounding him, hiding him until the sun pushes it away and a fisherman spies his form.

Two last night, they say with worried faces. I wonder if she is angry.

Two last night, the doctor says and it’s too early to drink but he drinks anyway. Something must be wrong.

Two last night, they say and no one mourns the politician but the other had done nothing wrong. Why did she take two?

Two last night, the whores say as they leave their corners and head towards home, smiles sharp and brittle and longing because they know what the men will never know.

Two last night, because nothing piques the Queens appetite like moments beneath the moon and the stars with her love, two last night because after crying her pleasure to the abandoned streets she was ravenous, two last night because the Vampire Queen had torn the second ones throat and watched her love, her Valkyrie, drink until she was full and sleepy and had carried her back to their dwelling to watch the sun rise.

Two last night, and no one could be bothered to care.

A man should know better than to wander the streets at night when the Queen is out to roam.

mcufam:

I told Gamora how when I was a kid I used to pretend David Hasselhoff was my dad. He’s a singer and actor from Earth, really famous guy. Earlier, it struck me… Yondu didn’t have a talking car, but he did have a flying arrow. He didn’t have the beautiful voice of an angel, but he did have the whistle of one. Both Yondu and David Hasselhoff went on kick-ass adventures and hooked up with hot women, and fought robots… I guess David Hasselhoff did kind of end up being my dad after all. Only it was you, Yondu.

mojavejourneys:

fancyladssnacks:

reddragonsbreath:

barrett-the-babe:

caiusmartiuscoriolanus:

incestiel:

almostdiedthreetimes:

feasibleweasel:

autonomousartisan:

demoniccupcake:

the-guy-below-me-sucks:

doctorfeelbad:

couragemadnessfriendshiplove:

world-shaker:

Want to collaborate on a Google Doc with Nietzsche, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Dickinson, Dickens and Poe? 

Click here. Start typing. Enjoy the hilarity. 

Ninja Update: Wanna see something fun? Mention Shakespeare in a sentence and see what happens. 

Poe kept writing distinctly into my sentences so I wrote ”Edgar, you’re not funny” aND HE BLATANTLY DELETED THE NOT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS ASDFKJL

OH GOD IF YOU TYPE “EDGAR ALLAN POE” POE ADDS A 😦 AFTER HIS NAME PRECIOUS BABY

Oh my God so I typed ‘Shakespeare’ and Shakespeare butted in and wrote ‘The lovely and handsome Shakespeare’ but Poe burst in saying ‘The dreadful and lonely Shakespeare’.

aND FYODOR DOSTOYVESKY ADDED ‘ I do not wish to make myself a laughing-stock before these idle listeners.”

I’M DONE.

Look what they did to All Star by Smash Mouth

“Somebody once hushedly told me the world is going to roll me. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of glocky with her finger and her thumb in the shape of a “L” on her forehead. Well, the years start voraciously coming and they don’t stop coming; fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. It didn’t make sense absolutely to live for fun. Thy brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to behold. So what’s wrong with taking the back busy thoroughfares? In everything one thing is impossible: rationality. You’ll never know if thou don’t go. “You’ll never shine if you don’t glow”, he growled incoherently. Hey presently, you’re an All Star. Get your game on; go play. Hey now, you’re a Rock Star. Get the show on; get laid. As well as all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars break the mold. ~All Star by Smash Estuary of opinion…”

Imagine putting your research paper in here and letting them go at it.

OH MY GOD I WAS WRITING AND EDGAR WOULDN’T STOP FIXING THINGS SO I WROTE “Edgar shut up I’m trying to write” and he changed it to “Edgar shut up I’m meagerly attempting to write” THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE

I typed in “Hello” and Shakesphere erased it and wrote “Begone with this rubbish.”

HOW R00d

I typed “party in the Usa” and Poe changed party to “ill-fated gathering”

I just used it to yell at Dickens about Tale of Two Cities, I am happy now

I typed in ‘hello other writers’ and Edgar Allen Poe changed it to ‘Hello secondary writers’

After I had been writing for a while Edgar suddenly deleted my last sentence and wrote “THE END.” rude son of a bitch

I have to try this.

Rebageled again but to add if the link above doesn’t work, try this one instead.

A Chapter Closed

So tonight I finished closing for the last time and closed an absolutely AMAZING chapter of my life. It has been an honor to work for Raising Cane’s and the team of RC’s “Century Club” (the 100th store in Texas). It was a great opportunity to grow as a person, to make some friends and work for a place that cares so much about its employees. To say goodbye brings me to tears, but it has been one awesome ride and even as I move on to better things in the life I have, I will cherish the memories I have made and the fun I had every single day.

Thank you, Raising Cane’s. It’s been a pleasure.

biscuitsarenice:

imagine… Alma Deutscher: Finding Cinderella

Musical prodigy Alma Deutscher aged 11 (seen here with younger sister Helen), is staging her first full-length opera, Cinderella.

Composer, pianist, violinist… Alma learned to read music before she could read words. She began playing the piano aged two and at four years old she was composing her own music.