I am having Soft Thoughts for post-Avengers 4 when everyone comes back and Thor hopefully looks around for Loki but he is no where to be found which is Sad.
But then Thor finds a kitten outside the compound that is black with big green eyes that hisses and scratches and basically fluffs up in Rihteous Indignation when Thor picks it up and Thor KNOWS it’s Loki because he can feel his brothers magic and figures that Loki is too scared/traumatized after IW to shape shift.
So Thor just brings the scrappy thing inside and sets it up in his room and brings it the best food and yummy scraps from the table and the thing gets fat and lazy and happy and one day POOF it’s a very disgruntled full size Loki sitting in the cat bed with wet kitty food still around his lips because Thor just outright Good Vibed his brother into coming back because the God of Thunder is the Best.
So because I have like, zero impulse control (and I needed an excuse to procrastinate) here is a list of Lokis rated by chocolate bars:
1) OG Loki from “Thor”, a sweet boy who means well, even if his methods leave something to be desired; gave birth to the “Disney Prince Loki” images. Will take you out on a magic carpet ride.
Extra Creamy? More like “Extra Dreamy”, am I right?
2) Avengers Loki: This Loki went through the deep end and came back a total edgelord. Uses very crass language even though I’m sure Frigga taught him better. Bitter AF.
3) Dark World Loki: Claims he doesn’t give a shit, when he clearly cares too much (you are not my mother my ass). Slightly less bitter than Avengers Loki, but still a sarcastic little shit who is salty about everything and makes sure you know it.
4) A spicy boi. May or may not have slept his way up the Sakaarian ladder. Finally got to be king, only to spend his time in comfy PJs and go through his issues via theater honestly #same
Bonus Round!
Extra Lokis:
1) Blue Loki. Starting his descent into bitter chocolate territory.
2)Slightly crispy. AKA WHAT HAPPENDED AFTER HE FELL MARVEL?!?!?!
3) That cape. ‘Nough said.
feel free to add more lokis
I have no idea why this post is possible but it’s peak Loki meta and exudes chaotic energy
Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.
My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.
Who alway got in trouble? Me.
They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.
She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.
The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.
I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.
So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize.
“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.
These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me.
“Melissa, did you punch him?”
“Yes.” I said.
“Why?”
“Because he snapped my bra strap.”
And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.”
“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.”
“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?”
I didn’t get suspended that day.
*slow clap for excellent parenting*
This is the parent I want to be omg
I went to a nun school.
The nuns there were like, so rad.
It was a party organized for the end of the school year, and I was helping in the kitchen to prepare stuff with a nun and a bunch of little girls. There was one of the girls’ little brother who was there.
There was a little girl who was carrying a bowl of tomato sauce and was going outside, but the boy was just in front of her and he slammed the door in her face. She dropped the bowl on the floor and got all messy.
So what happened?
The nun went outside, took the boy by the arm, and gave him an epic speech going around the lines of: “Would you treat the Virgin Mary like that, young man?” “Nnnnno…” “Then treat every girl like she’s the Virgin Mary.” Not only the boy had to apologize to the little girl, but he also had to clean up and he was put on kitchen duty for the rest of the day.
Then another day, in catechism class (I was a in a girls’ school, mind you), the nun was there telling us: “If a guy touches you in a way you don’t like, punch him in the face. It’s not a sin against charity. On the contrary, you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.”
So I was at my desk during class looking like this:
Reblogging for awesome dads and kickass nuns.
If the Catholic church were run by like 90% of the nuns I know, the world would be a much better, much cooler place.
I love this because you have Elizabeth who couldn’t even defend herself in the first one to becoming this master sword fighter and leader of ALL pirates. You watch Will who was just this angsty little brat head over heels for Elizabeth become this grown man who faced all his demons.
and then there’s Jack
“Elizabeth who couldn’t even defend herself”
Do you mean…
Elizabeth who improvised a weapon when pirates invaded her bedroom
Elizabeth who could have run for the exits but instead went straight for the swords
Elizabeth who demanded to speak with a pirate captain and then used the leverage she had to get him to agree to her demands
Elizabeth who CAME AT BARBOSSA WITH A GODDAMN KNIFE and then fucking STABBED HIM when she couldn’t get away
Elizabeth who was trapped on a tiny island with nothing but crates of rum and a man she couldn’t stand and who used those supplies to summon a rescue party for herself
Elizabeth who made a rope out of sheets and climbed down the back of a ship to save the day herself when no one would listen to her about how dangerous the pirates were
Elizabeth who snuck onto the Black Pearl, knocked two cursed pirates straight off their ship, and rescued Jack’s entire crew
Elizabeth who rowed straight back into danger without any backup instead of running away with everyone else
Elizabeth who came to Will’s rescue with a blunt object and a one-liner
Elizabeth who proceeded to team up with Will to take down all the remaining pirates in the cave
Elizabeth who – without being asked or told what was going on – faked unconsciousness to create a distraction for Will’s rescue of Jack
Elizabeth who stepped in front of a ring of muskets, successfully protecting Jack and Will from being shot or captured
Elizabeth may have learned some impressive sword tricks in the later movies, but she was a Badass from day one.
themusechronicles 