not-close-to-straight:

Venom/Deadpool

(TW brief mention of self harm/suicide but it’s DP so… you know)

It’s like 3 am and I haven’t been sleeping and I had this weird thought that Venom/symbrock would be FASCINATED by Deadpool and not in like, a healthy way. Not at first.

Like maybe Venom goes after him because “we can eat bad people” but then, “oh wait, is he really a bad guy?” And then “he definitely just did some bad guy things so let’s eat his arm/head/whatever” and a few nights later they run into that unkillable fucker and are like???? Didn’t we eat you??

And it becomes a weird challenge for Venom to try and get Deadpool and Eddie finds himself sort of oddly…. like huh, there’s someone else like me?

Because like, DP is a monster all on his own, and he hears voices too but it’s not a symbiote who has changed to want to protect their host, no DPs voices are terrible and push him to self harm and he just laughs them off and pushes them away until he can’t anymore and that’s the first time Venom finds DP dead.

And they sort of mourn, Venom does, because now their little game is over and they have to go back to eating normal bad guys and Eddie is sad because he thought he’d finally found someone who could understand his ‘demon’ because Wade had demons of his own?

But then, honestly what the fuck, Wade starts breathing again and complaining about how his head hurts now and ugh Venom could have at least carried him to a park so he could have woken up in a bed of flowers and Eddie laughs in surprise and it’s the first time he’s really laughed in a long time.

Venom doesn’t even phase Wade. When Eddie invites him up for pizza and beer, Wade doesn’t even blink when they get to the shitty apartment and suddenly Eddie is there and Big and Black and Gooey is moving out of his shoulder and taking their own form, Wade just shrugs and says “I charge extra for threesomes” and Eddie laughs again.

It’s healthy in some twisted way, whatever friendship they form because Eddie knows Wade is what he could easily become if Venom hadn’t decided to love him and take care of him and had kept ruining him instead. He could absolutely be a violent unkillable fool who laughs because life has fucked him so far over that everything is funny in some awful way. He could be alone and in pain— yeah, he knows Wade hurts, can tell that the scars and his mutation hurt constantly— and being around Wade makes him appreciate Venom more.

And it’s healthy in some twisted way, because they don’t have to pretend around each other, there isn’t a level of “acceptable” they have to maintain. They can eat mountains of trash, they can sit in the dark and let the depression run deep and awful, they can come out of it and the other one will shrug off the episode because “life sucks and then you don’t die because you’re sort of cursed so you just keep going”.

And it’s healthy in some twisted way because the first time they are binge watching Golden Girls and Wade is lying there, scarred and violent and not giving a single fuck, Eddie leans over and kisses him and Wade grabs him and kisses him back and both of them fully expect Venom to SCREAM and rip them apart because the thing is possessive AF—

—Black ripples from Eddies fingers and Venom touches Wade and hisses over the pain he feels lurking just under the surface, but then he spreads up Wade’s arms to his shoulders and up his neck and down his back and Wade starts to say something about being “down for doing the nasty with that tongue” but then he realizes that the voices are quiet, and he doesn’t really hurt just then and that he’s still kissing Eddie but the other is there too, wrapped around them but lying passive as if protecting them.

They are both fragile and damaged and pushed out of acceptable society and far from what they had been, but here they are wound together and it works.

It’s not love, not even close, but it works.

It’s barely even lust, mostly it’s about being able to touch someone and not being afraid of them leaving/screaming/hating it, but it works.

It’s random nights and early afternoons and weeks without saying a word to each other and doing dangerous things off roof tops because Wade can’t die and Eddie is Protected, and screaming when they fight and waking up from nightmares and pretending the other doesn’t hear even though they cling to each other afterwards and laughing until it hurts their sides, but it works.

The first time Wade sees Venom fucking Eddie, he gets popcorn and sits on the floor and watches because why not?

The first time Eddie goes down on him, Wade keeps up a non stop commentary on those perfect fucking lips and only shuts up when Venom presses against and into him and he finally gets a taste of that particular benefit.

The first time Wade kisses Eddie goodbye and calls him babe out the door all three of them go very very still because this is different than the usual.

Wade laughs it off, Eddie doesn’t say anything at all and Venom is curious.

After that, it’s the first time in a long time that Wade tries to hurt himself and Venom SURGES from Eddies skin and wraps himself around Wade to stop it all from happening.

It’s healthy in a twisted sort of way, whatever they have, and sometimes they joke about how the only other human Venom can stand is barely human at all.

But it works.