not-close-to-straight:

“What do you think?” Wade waited in the doorway impatiently for Peter to look up. “Babe, pay attention! I’m trying to decide what to wear for that party tonight!”

“I’m not going to look up.” Peter replied calmly without putting his book down. “Because that is literally the sluttiest Wonder Woman costume I’ve ever seen. I don’t even think strippers would wear that, Wade. Go take it off and put something else on, we are not going out in public like that.”

Wade looked down at himself critically. “I see nothing wrong with this. Also, Her Majesty Diana would object to being called a slut.”

“I’m not calling her a slut.” Peter turned a page and took a sip of his water. “I’m saying you look like a slutty version of a knock off of my favorite super hero and future wife. Go take it off.”

“I think you’re a prude!” Wade announced and turned on his heel, thigh high red and blue boots making the movement quite a bit less graceful. “I would win costume contests like this!”

“You will be arrested like that!” Peter retorted. “Put something else on!”

“She’s not your future wife!” Wade yelled from the bedroom. “She won’t want you after I get done with you!”

Peter rolled his eyes and turned another page in his book.

********************

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