Winter!Cap (au – Steve as Winter Soldier)

lostshieldandhammer

Steve watched him carefully for a moment before he dropped his gaze down to his hands, though the metal one seemed to move more slowly than it should have. Probably because he hadn’t had anyone to do any maintenance on it and he could only do so much on his own. “I…. I don’t know what I want to do,” he answered quietly, in a slightly shaky voice. “I… I want to remember you and… and everything that I have forgotten but… the idea that I won’t like what I remember terrifies me. What about all the people I killed, the things I did… how can you just… want to help me after all of that?”

Bucky watched him, reaching over to lay his hand over one of Steve’s. “Because what you did wasn’t you. Not the real you.” he replied. “You didn’t have a choice. They tortured you, Stevie. Brainwashed you and erased everything. I missed a little, but mostly I was there for everything. I don’t regret anything that happened back then, except not being able to save you.” he explained, icy blue eyes watching the blonde. “Come back with me for a while. You can sleep on the couch, or on the floor or in the bed so I can wake you up if you have a nightmare. You don’t need to go through all of this alone.”

karlmordo:

Transition from Bucky to the Winter Soldier:

01. longing: first word. trigger of the process. he screams, not from pain, but horror because he is still aware of what’s happening to him and knows what comes next.

02. rusted: sense of hopelessness kicks in. realization that he cannot escape the chains, knowing he will turn into a puppet, a monster.

03. seventeen:

tries to breathe, to stay focused, calm, to slow down the process, but knows it’s inevitable.

04. daybreak: first painful trigger. word that can be connected to the torture he is enduring or painful memory from the long lost past. tries with everything he has to hold onto his soul.

05. furnace:

the winter soldier is trying to come to the surface, we see last real struggle of bucky barnes to stay himself.

06. nine: takes five words to delete bucky barnes from existence, but the process is not over just yet. pain is gone, and so are memories, heart, soul of someone who was not so long ago kind and loyal. the winter soldier hasn’t shown his face yet, this is in between phase, where shell of a human being is full of rage. wrath is first emotion that leads to the winter soldier.

07. benign: slowly becomes blank piece of paper that is ready for the last words before turning into a weapon. doesn’t struggle any longer, hands are not trying to break free, he is where he belongs.

08. homecoming: body is giving its all not to become the other, more vindictive, vicious, dangerous person. there is no bucky, just one last piece of conscious human mind trying not to give into torture. first sighting of the winter soldier. ultimate trigger that pushes him to the surface.

09. one: next to last stage. no conscious mind left. shaking and trembling have stopped. breathing slows down. machine is born.

10. freight car: words attached to his death, symbolize death of a human being, friend, brother, loved one, and birth of the weapon. every emotion, memory, sense of being self aware is buried deep down and it will take a long time before any of those resurface again. breathes in new air. eyes become dead. the winter soldier is ready for orders.

@techmagiclightxnshieldedsoldier liked this for a starter from Bucky Barnes

“I just needed to clear my head, before you say anything. I went for a walk is all.” he assured, sitting down. “Today is a little off.”

@theempathywithin liked this for a starter from Bucky Barnes

“So you’re the girl who’s got Steve all happy and relaxed.” Bucky mused, givng a grin.

@lostshieldandhammer liked this for a starter from Bucky Barnes

“Can’t sleep either?” Bucky asked as he looked up from his cup of tea, a faint smile on his lips.

@melodyofmuses liked this for a starter from Bucky Barnes

“Who are you, exactly?”

Winter!Cap (au – Steve as Winter Soldier)

lostshieldandhammer

Steve looked at the small notebook and pencil and quickly took them, putting them into the pockets of his jacket before looking back up at Bucky slowly once more. “What if I try to hurt you?” he asked quietly. “I… I have nightmares. What if I keep you up at night or…” he trailed off and swallowed hard. “I don’t wanna be a burden to anyone. It’s why I kept hidin’ from you and everyone else.”

Bucky couldn’t help the smile as Steve took the sketchbook and pencil. There was still Steve under all that torture. “I can handle it easier than anyone else, Stevie.” he assured. He was quiet as the other continued, looking down for a moment. “You aren’t the only one who has nightmares. I don’t sleep most nights.” he replied, ice blue eyes looking up at him. “Steve, you could never, ever be a burden to me. Till the end of the line, right?”