My Vows are Yours || lostshieldandhammer

lostshieldandhammer:

themusechronicles:

lostshieldandhammer

Steve leaned against TOny but didn’t even try to argue with him. He was exhausted. He was so tired of everything. He finally slid off the stool and put his now emtpy cup in the sink. “Come back to bed with me?” he asked in a small, vulnerable sounding voice. “I don’t want to be alone right now…”

Tony finished his tea and went to walk with Steve. “You’re not alone. I’m right here.” he swore, linking his arm with Steve’s and lacing their fingers together. “Do you think you could try to sleep? Or should I try to do something else?” he asked, eyes looking up at Steve as they went back to their room. 

“I should be able to sleep again,” he said, though he sounded hesitant about it all. He crawled back into their bed and lay down, curling up against Tony once his husband was beside him. He nuzzled the other’s neck and cheek, kissing him there softly before settling down and closing his eyes, trying to slow his breathing as well.

Tony curled up beside Steve, arms encircling him and fingers running through blonde hair. He gave a soft hum as Steve kissed his neck. “Would it help if I sang a little? Or distracted you somehow?” He asked, his voice soft. His husband needed a break, and if he had to take Steve and just vanish for a while, he would. He fully intended on having it out with Fury in the morning, but now his focus was his husband. “How does a vacation sound?”

My Vows are Yours || lostshieldandhammer

lostshieldandhammer

Steve leaned against TOny but didn’t even try to argue with him. He was exhausted. He was so tired of everything. He finally slid off the stool and put his now emtpy cup in the sink. “Come back to bed with me?” he asked in a small, vulnerable sounding voice. “I don’t want to be alone right now…”

Tony finished his tea and went to walk with Steve. “You’re not alone. I’m right here.” he swore, linking his arm with Steve’s and lacing their fingers together. “Do you think you could try to sleep? Or should I try to do something else?” he asked, eyes looking up at Steve as they went back to their room. 

My Vows are Yours || lostshieldandhammer

lostshieldandhammer

“Fighting is all I do,” he said quietly, setting his cup down and leaning in to Tony’s touch against his hair, his eyes closing in a resigned way. “They’re not going to let me quit, Tony. They fucking own me. They found me… I’m still able to fight, I’m healthy, I’m the only person who survived with the super soldier serum intact… you really think for one minute that SHIELD will let me retire and simply fade into the background? They’ll never let me go, Tony. And sometimes… sometimes I wish I was in the ice again just to keep from being a soldier now. I fought for so long, so hard… and for what?” He choked up, tears filling his eyes as he dropped his head onto the island, his whole body starting to shake.

Tony was furious at the way his husband broke down. “Like hell they own you, Steve. Just because they found you in the ice doesn’t mean they own your life!” He took a slow breath to try and calm himself. “You can fade into the background and train new Avengers, damn it. If I’m a big enough asset that they’ll let me just do the tech, they can let you step down and train. You can’t keep fighting forever. We deserve to have a family and be happy without them always looming over us.” he said, his tone angry. “I’m not letting them take you back out again. No. You need a fucking break and if I have to punch Fury is his one eyed face I will do it.” 

My Vows are Yours || lostshieldandhammer

lostshieldandhammer

Steve leaned against him, sipping quietly at his own tea for a few moments before he spoke. “I guess I thought all of this would stop after a while, you know? I.. I don’t understand why I’m still having these nightmares. I talk to Sam regularly… it should be helping so… why does it feel like it’s not?”

Tony was quiet as Steve spoke, content to listen for as long as Steve needed him to. WHen Steve finished, he sighed. “I still have them from time to time.” he admitted. “Usually it’s easier to calm down when you’re next to me. Before this, my life was lonely and for a long time I hid it in bad ways. Then you came into my life. I found something to focus on that was good, that made me happy.” He explained, reaching up to run his hand through blonde hair. “Sometimes talking isn’t always going to help. You need something else to keep your mind grounded. Like a hobby or something. Mine just happens to be being able to love you, and have you in my life.” He thought for a moment. “I know it may not be the best idea, but what if part of it is that you’re still fighting? All the time. I got out to help rebuild everything, help make sure everyone is safer, but you’re still on the front line every time we end up in a battle.”

My Vows are Yours || lostshieldandhammer

“Tea,” he answered softly. “If I drink coffee now, I’m not getting back to sleep tonight.” He sighed into that kiss against his temple and he turned, eyes following Tony intently as the other moved around the kitchen. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

Tony nodded and went to work making them both some tea. He shook his head at Steve’s words. “Never be sorry for your PTSD, Steve.” Tony replied, reaching to lace his hand with one of Steve’s still chilled hands. “It’s not your fault. I don’t expect you to be a-okay all the time.” he replied, finishing the tea and going to sit beside Steve, setting his husband’s cup down and leaning to rest his head on Steve’s shoulder. “I’m never going to need an apology for me getting to take care of you.” he said, taking a sip and holding his mug in front of him as it rested on the counter. “I love you.”

@lostshieldandhammer