lostshieldandhammer:

themusechronicles:

lostshieldandhammer:

Steve looked up at him slowly. “You… you remember…” he said quietly. “You remember us?” He set the bottle down on the coffee table and gripped Bucky’s hand in his own. “What do you remember? When did you remember?”

Bucky couldn’t deny how good it felt to feel Steve’s hand in his own. “I’ve remembered bits and pieces.” he replied. “I remember going out and pretending we were takin’ girls out but we’d never bring them home and we shared your bed.” he replied. “I remember always bein’ worried about ya when ya got real sick. Singing ya to sleep and the slow dances in the kitchen…” he licked his lips and smiled, his accent coming out thicker as emotion welled in his chest at confirmation that he wasn’t dreaming. “It started before you found me in Bucharest. But it wasn’t clear enough, and real small bits, like flashes.” he explained. “Being out of cryo finally gave me time to put them together. That’s part of why I asked Shuri to help me find you. I needed to find you.”

Steve nodded slowly and smiled softly. “Sometimes they’d get a bit put out that we weren’t bringing them back home with us,” he remembered. “But all I remember caring about was getting back home to being just with you. Even after the war, when I found you overseas… we shared a tent… the Howlies knew but they never said a word. Dum Dum didn’t leave my side for the first four days after you fell from the train. Then the mission came up and he didn’t have a choice. I know he probably hated it but then he took over and when I started looking over all the old files… he did a great job.” He sighed softly.

“I’m glad you found me, Bucky. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed so much about you… about us.”

Bucky laughed a little. “I would always go slow and easy. I didn’t want to hurt you.” The memories were frequent enough to put a timeline to it now, everything he’d remembered he had finally gotten in an order that made sense to him. He watched Steve, pale blue lighting with pure love as he watched the only man he’d ever loved speak. “They knew that us bein’ in love only made us deadlier in combat.” he explained. His smile fell a little. “I don’t…I don’t remember falling.” he replied. “I know I did, it’s how I lost my arm, but I don’t…” His hand squeezed Steve’s gently. “I remember the train, I remember the side exploding, and reaching for you, but the actual fall, being found….I don’t really remember any of that. It kind of goes from reaching to you straight to waking up after they attached my arm and telling me you’d died.” His vision blurred a little. “I killed dozens of them for the first year while they put me through all the conditioning. And yeah, they finally pulled all my memory out, but your were still there. Things that didn’t hinder my effectiveness as a weapon were still there. Staying to the right side in dark alleys, never putting anything in my left pockets, sleeping facing the doorway…none of them understood it. Hell, I didn’t even understand it until the conditioning started clearing up.” 

“I missed you, too. So much. You should know I would have found you anywhere, Stevie. I promised you I would always find a way home, wherever that was.” He leaned over to kiss Steve, hand moving to pull Steve closer to him. “I love you.”