Those We Leave Behind | lostshieldandhammer

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Steve sighed softly and rested a hand on Peter’s leg. “Peter, please. There’s no need for you to be getting upset at Stiles. He has a point. The pack, not including the extended, non-shapeshifters, only lost Theo. Stiles has a point. It’s strange that Thanos’ power didn’t extend throughout the pack even more.” He glanced back at Stiles and Derek.

“Thank you for letting me know about Clint. Next time you talk to him, ask him and the kids to come out here. I want them closer. Whenever Tony and Bruce figure out what we can do to fix things, I want to make sure Clint’s here and ready to go and that the kids are taken care of while we’re gone.”

Peter calmed visibly as Steve touched him, leaning to press his face into his mate’s neck. “I’m sorry.” He murmured softly. “Emotions are just high.” He relaxed into Steve, the most vulnerable he’d been since Steve had come home alone.

Stiles looked at Derek, then back at where Steve and Peter were. “I will. He calls at least once a day to check up on you.” He replied. “I don’t think he’ll have any problems coming here. Derek and I can set up the spare rooms.” He watched the two for a moment. “Is there anything else we can do?”

Those We Leave Behind | lostshieldandhammer

Steve

Steve looked up and nodded slowly. “It’s getting easier to eat again,” he said quietly. “Not everything tastes like ash anymore.” HE dropped his gaze to his hand. “I… I don’t know how much Peter has told you but… when Thanos did… what he did… we lost… a lot. Bucky, T’Challa, Wanda, Vision, Sam… found out from That the list also included Peter and someone he’d only recently met that was fighting for us named Stephen Strange. Some kind of… sorcerer or something. I don’t know. We still have yet to hear from Clint or Scott. Fury’s gone, too.” He began to shake a bit as he spoke and he swallowed hard.

“We don’t know how to fix what Thanos did; or if we even can. Bruce and Tony are working to find Scott Lang and Hank Pym to see if there’s something they can do through… whatever it is they do. I don’t know. I still don’t understand it all. Meanwhile, the rest of us… what’s left of us… have gone home to try and… recover… get ready for the next fight when it comes.”

Peter leaned over to press a kiss to Steve’s head, closing his eyes as he listened.

Derek moved to sit at the chair situated by the desk. “He told us enough to appease everyone else.” he began, listening and watching his alpha as Steve spoke. This wasn’t easy on Steve or Peter, and the wolf tried to remember that as he nodded a little.

“I heard from Clint. He and the kids are safe.” Stiles said softly. “I’m just trying to figure out why everywhere else was hit so hard…and then we only lost Theo.”

“We lost people who meant more to us than that chimera bastard.” Peter growled low, pain in his words.

“I know that, Peter, don’t growl at me.” Stiles huffed. “I mean in the moment, as it happened, the only one we lost that was here was Theo.” He looked down, thinking. “Maybe I can find something in the records.”

Those We Leave Behind | lostshieldandhammer

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It took Steve a couple more days before he started actually talking to Peter more about everything that had happened. He was surprised the pack hadn’t lost more than it had, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be upset at Theo’s loss. He’d caused them more trouble than he was worth, honestly, especially for Stiles. Still, Steve found it hardest to talk about Bucky and Sam more than anyone else they’d lost.

Eventually, after he’d been back in the manor almost four days, he decided the should try seeing at least some of the pack and told Peter he’d start with Derek and Stiles first…

Peter stayed at Steve’s side, tending to anything his mate needed. Curling around Steve when the nightmares came, singing softly to lull him back to sleep, helping him eat when he hadn’t touched a thing all day. As Steve slowly opened up, Peter was a pair of warm, safe arms, understanding and heartbroken as they sat or lay in bed, only wanting Steve to know he was there, and he was never leaving without a fight. When Steve decided he wanted to start with Stiles and Derek, he went down to get them, and he promised Malia that she’d see her stepfather soon. “I know it hurts to worry, my little wolf.”

Malia smiled sadly. “Just tell him I love him.” she replied, squeezing Derek’s hand as her cousin followed her father up the stairs with Stiles not far behind.

Derek moved to let Stiles in between he and Peter, watching as Peter moved to once more sit next to Steve. “Peter says you’re eating again.” he said hopefully, trying not to hit the very sensitive topic.

Those We Leave Behind | lostshieldandhammer

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themusechronicles:

Steve

Exhaustion set in heavily and Steve said nothing more before falling asleep in Peter’s arms. It wasn’t a restless sleep by any means. He woke at least three times during the night from nightmares that left him crying, screaming, and shaking in his husband’s arms. But all of that just wore him out even more and he finally passed out hard just as the sun was starting to rise outside. His body didn’t care. IT needed sleep and it was going to take it now, no matter what time it was or whether someone wanted to see him. He trusted Peter to take care of everything and keep him safe.

Peter’s entire being was on high alert, so he never got a deep sleep, always just under unconscious so that every time Steve jolted, he was awake with soothing words and kisses. He hoped the soundproofing he and Steve had put in would keep the manor from waking up, but it was a fleeting, distant thought in his mind compared to the need to take care of Steve. He was still in the dozing state when there was a knock just after sunrise, and Peter hummed just loud enough to be heard. Derek opened the door just enough to step inside, followed shortly by Stiles and Malia, the two teens looking quite worried. Peter lifted a finger to his lips. “He finally settled an hour ago.” he said quietly.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Stiles asked just as softly, and gaining a nod, looked down sadly. “How many did we lose?”

“Stiles, we talked about that-” Derek began, but stopped as Peter spoke.

“At least five?” Peter replied. “Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Sam and T’Challa for sure.” He adjusted just enough to pull Steve against his chest further, kissing his husband’s temple. “The others must be asking or the three of you wouldn’t be here.” He looked up and gained a nod from Malia.

“They’re worried about him. Lydia’s been upset all night.” she replied.

“Just let them know my primary focus is going to be Steve and that Derek is in charge.” Peter said. “Malia, you and Stiles are second in command under him until then. Is there breakfast?”

“Yeah, there’s breakfast.” Stiles assured. “I’ll bring some up” He took Derek’s hand, tugging gently until his mate moved, taking Malia’s hand as they moved by her to coax her out as well. Peter tucked himself as close to Steve as he could and closing his eyes as he kept a monitor on Steve’s heartrate.

Steve continued to sleep and Stiles returned a few minutes later with a large tray that had plenty of food for Peter and Steve, whenever the other woke. Stiles set it down on the dresser and walked over, kissing Peter on the cheek softly. “Just take care of him,” he whispered. “Derek’s got everything else under control for now. Tell him we love him.”

Peter looked up, smiling sadly as Stiles walked around and kissed his cheek. “I will tell him. Thank you.” He replied, petting Steve’s hair. “I’ve got him, I promise. Go take care of your mate and the others. The news wont be easy on them.” He watched Stiles for a moment. “We’ll survive it, Stiles. We’ve survived much worse deaths.” He waited until Stikes was gone again to press his face into Steve’s hair and cry silently, able to sense his mate’s pain even as he rested. “Oh, my love. I wish I knew how to help. We’re so I tune it kills me to feel you hurting so much.” He whispered softly. “But we will survive, and we will get through. I have you, and I will be here as we get through it. I swear.”

Those We Leave Behind | lostshieldandhammer

Steve

Exhaustion set in heavily and Steve said nothing more before falling asleep in Peter’s arms. It wasn’t a restless sleep by any means. He woke at least three times during the night from nightmares that left him crying, screaming, and shaking in his husband’s arms. But all of that just wore him out even more and he finally passed out hard just as the sun was starting to rise outside. His body didn’t care. IT needed sleep and it was going to take it now, no matter what time it was or whether someone wanted to see him. He trusted Peter to take care of everything and keep him safe.

Peter’s entire being was on high alert, so he never got a deep sleep, always just under unconscious so that every time Steve jolted, he was awake with soothing words and kisses. He hoped the soundproofing he and Steve had put in would keep the manor from waking up, but it was a fleeting, distant thought in his mind compared to the need to take care of Steve. He was still in the dozing state when there was a knock just after sunrise, and Peter hummed just loud enough to be heard. Derek opened the door just enough to step inside, followed shortly by Stiles and Malia, the two teens looking quite worried. Peter lifted a finger to his lips. “He finally settled an hour ago.” he said quietly.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Stiles asked just as softly, and gaining a nod, looked down sadly. “How many did we lose?”

“Stiles, we talked about that-” Derek began, but stopped as Peter spoke.

“At least five?” Peter replied. “Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Sam and T’Challa for sure.” He adjusted just enough to pull Steve against his chest further, kissing his husband’s temple. “The others must be asking or the three of you wouldn’t be here.” He looked up and gained a nod from Malia.

“They’re worried about him. Lydia’s been upset all night.” she replied.

“Just let them know my primary focus is going to be Steve and that Derek is in charge.” Peter said. “Malia, you and Stiles are second in command under him until then. Is there breakfast?”

“Yeah, there’s breakfast.” Stiles assured. “I’ll bring some up” He took Derek’s hand, tugging gently until his mate moved, taking Malia’s hand as they moved by her to coax her out as well. Peter tucked himself as close to Steve as he could and closing his eyes as he kept a monitor on Steve’s heartrate.

Those We Leave Behind | lostshieldandhammer

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When Peter returned to their room, Steve watched him come to the bed and settle beside him with the tray of food. He really didn’t even want to eat but he knew Peter wouldn’t let him not do so. “I can eat,” he managed to answer before reaching for the plate and a fork. Stiles had made stroganoff again… it was definitely Steve’s favorite. The younger man was getting so good at his cooking. Bucky would have… loved it…

Tears formed and fell down his face once more as he tried to eat the food before him. But everything tasted like ash now… just like Bucky had turned to ash right before his eyes even as he’d tried to reach for him, to save him…

“I… I can’t…” he whispered in a choked off voice. “I… I just… can’t…”

Peter carefully move the tray from the bed and moved to crawl back into the bed next to Steve, pulling his mate to him. “Hey, it’s okay.” he promised, pulling the blonde close to him. “I got you, baby.” he promised. “Just get some rest, okay? I’m not going anywhere.” he replied, fingers running through Steve’s hair as they lay in bed. It was a rough road ahead, he knew that very well. “We’ll get through this together, I promise.” he assured, resting his head against Steve’s.

Those We Leave Behind | lostshieldandhammer

Steve

Steve nodded and shifted more into Peter’s hold, burying his face more into the other’s neck and shoulder, wrapping an arm around his mate and just shaking from the shock of everything still setting in and the pain and grief from all of the losses he’d been dealt. He couldn’t handle anything else tonight. If Peter said the pack would wait, they would wait. Steve would trust that Peter knew best for the time being.

Peter moved to carefully wash Steve off, eventually taking his now soaked clothes off and setting them aside so he could clean them both and then turned the water off. “I have to let you go to get us towels, okay?” he explained, kissing Steve’s temple. “I’ll be right back.” He carefully, slowly released Steve to get out and grab towels, easing one around his waist and moving to pull Steve from the tub and into his arms. “Let me get you dry and in bed. I’ll bring us up some food.” he said, toweling Steve off and moving him to the bed to get some clothes and help him get dressed before doing the same for himself. Pulling at the blankets so that he could get his husband in bed, he carefully guided Steve to lay back against the pillows and covered his legs. “I’ll be back in just a few minutes, okay?” he promised, leaning to kiss Steve gently before leaving to go get their food. As he got to the stairs, he saw Derek and Malia at the bottom of the steps and shook his head. “Don’t.” he said softly so only they would hear.

“Dad, what happened?” Malia asked, concerned. “Where’s Bucky and the others?”

Peter shook his head again as he joined them. “Not now, Malia.” he said, but his voice held the shaky emotion of loss and Malia leaned to hug him, Derek doing the same. Peter took the comfort for a moment before pulling away from his nephew and daughter, looking at them both in turn. “Everyone needs to eat, get some rest. Steve can’t handle it right now. I’m trusting the two of you to take care of everyone while I take care of him. Understood?”

Malia looked at her cousin and after a moment, the two nodded and Peter moved to get two plates made and on a tray and started back up to the bedroom. He moved quietly, focusing on getting Steve fed as he got to their room. “I got your favorite.” he said, setting the tray on the bed and sitting beside Steve. “Can you eat for me, baby?” he asked. “I can feed you if you need me to. Just tell me.”

Those We Leave Behind | lostshieldandhammer

Steve

Steve just nodded silently before stepping into the shower and under the spray of water. How was he supposed to get through this? He’d only had Bucky back for such a short time and now… now he was gone again; this time for good. Sam was gone… Wanda and Vision… Peter… T’Challa… He felt the tears falling down his face again and he slid down the wall, sitting on the floor of the shower, dropping his head onto his knees, crying quietly.

Peter didn’t think as he moved under the water and pulled Steve to him, unable to bear seeing his mate in so much pain. He didn’t speak for a long time, just held Steve against him, arms secure as he ran his hand through blonde hair. After a long while, he opened his eyes. “You don’t have to see them tonight, Steve. They’ll understand.” he murmured.

Those We Leave Behind | lostshieldandhammer

Steve

Steve nodded slowly. “Uh… yeah… yeah a shower would be good,” he answered softly, dragging a hand through his hair. “Shower and then I’ll see the pack and talk to them, let them know what’s happened and such.” He pushed to his feet and slowly headed for the bathroom, turning on the water in the shower.

Peter watched Steve go, going to get his mate some fresh clothes and setting them on the counter. He paused briefly, reaching out to brush his hand against Steve’s. “I’m here, Steve. I’m not going anywhere.” He could tell Steve was hurting and he didn’t know how to help. “We’ll get through this together, alright?”

Those We Leave Behind | lostshieldandhammer

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themusechronicles:

lostshieldandhammer

As they got into their room, Steve dropped down heavily onto the edge of the bed. “Wanda… Sam… Vision… T’Challa… Bucky…” he trailed off, feeling tears in his eyes again. “Peter… he was just a kid…” He looked up at his mate, talking about Peter Parker. “Stephen… Quill… we lost almost everyone, Peter… Shuri is sixteen years old and she’s having to rule Wakanda now with your mother’s help. They think… she and Bruce… they think they can find a way to reverse what’s happened but everyone needs time to heal… to… regroup…” He dropped his head into his hands, his whole body shaking.

Peter had intended on going to at least get some clothes for Steve to change into, but the moment Steve collapsed, the wolf couldn’t just leave Steve there. He was immediately next to his mate, perching behind him and wrapping his arms around Steve’s body. “Hey, we’ll figure it out. I promise. I’m right here, we all are.” he assured, kissing Steve’s head. “I know I don’t quite fully understand it, but I know I hurt when you hurt and seeing you like this is the worst pain I have ever imagined. What can I do?”

“I don’t know,” he answered in a shaky voice. “I just… I don’t even know what to do… I don’t know what to tell you to do. I just… I need time, Peter. Right now, I just need time and trying to get used to being back here at home again. I need to see the rest of the pack, too. I need to know they’re all okay. Let’s do that first. I can smell the food they’ve cooked. I know they’re wanting to see me.”

Peter closed his eyes and pressed another kiss to Steve’s head and held him close. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” he offered. The only one the pack lost was Theo, but there’s no great loss there.” he frowned a little. “Everyone is going to ask questions. I can tell them to leave it alone for now. We all need to grieve before we can regroup.” He carefully climbed from the bed to go get clothes. “Do you want a shower before we head downstairs?” he asked, looking through their drawers to grab clothes.