“Please, can we? It’s been killing me holding back and I know it’s frustrating you.“ Seth gave a hesitant smile before pressing his lips to Derek’s softly. “I don’t want to have to hold back anymore.”
Derek leaned in to deepen the kiss, one hand running up Seth’s arm to his hair and tilting his head to kiss his neck. “I’m right here, Seth.” he promised, one hand sliding under the shirt Seth wore to lay his hand at the small of his back. “Right here? Or would you rather be in a bed?”
Seth laughed, wiping at his eyes. “I didn’t want you to be disgusted or anything.” He admitted with a slight shrug, pressing a kiss to Derek’s cheek. “I really, really like you. I love you, even, and that’s the only part about this that really scares me.”
Derek leaned in to kiss away the tears, resting his forehead on Seth’s again. “Never, Seth. It’s not anything I’m worried about. Did you want to try for more? We don’t have to tonight, if you don’t want to. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
“Because you wouldn’t be the first one to do so.” He whispered with a small shrug. “N-Not because of that, but because everyone kind of just expects me to want surgery for that too and I don’t. I mean, I do but there’s too many complications and I don’t think it’s worth putting my life at risk when I’m happy and comfortable how I am now.” Seth explained, giving a sad smile. “I love you, too.”
Derek arched a brow, shaking his head. “I would never do that, Seth.” he replied, reaching to run his fingers through Seth’s hair. “So what, you don’t have the bottom half of a guy, that doesn’t change that you want more. Was that really what you’ve been so scared of, baby?” he asked, leaning to rest his forehead against Seth’s. “I love you as you are and nothing is going to change that.” he whispered.
“Something’s not wrong. It just-” He sighed, moving to sit on the bed. “I should have told you before we started dating… And if you want to break up with me, I understand. It’ll be cool, I’ll be fine, but… About two years ago, I had surgery on my chest. And then I met you and we recently started dating a couple months ago and clearly we haven’t gotten much further than well, you know.” Seth shrugged. “I haven’t had to come out in years, so I’m not even really sure what to say anymore or how to say it, really. But… for lack of better everything, I was born female and uh… some parts of me are definitely still female, if you catch my drift here.”
Derek tilted his head for a moment as Seth pulled away, missing the familiar weight of his boyfriend. He frowned a little as Seth seemed to struggle for words and he was quiet for a moment. “Seth Mitchell…do you think for a moment I would leave you over something as trivial as that?” he asked, reachign to pull Seth to him. “Come here.” he ushered, trying to bring Seth back to his lap. “Being born a female doesn’t change who you are inside. You’re still Seth, my Seth, and I love you.” he said quietly, blue grey eyes watching the other. “Why on earth do you think I would leave you over that?”
“Fuck, no!” Seth huffed. “It’s not you, it’s…” He shook his head, not willing to finish it _that _way. “You’ve been nothing but perfect to me, Derek. I like being around you, I like making out with you, I like everything about you. I don’t think you could ever do something wrong.” Seth frowned, pressing a kiss to Derek’s cheek.
“But something is clearly wrong.” Derek finished softly. “Talk to me, Seth.” he murmured, running a hand through the other’s hair.
themusechronicles 